The morning after our slight night on the town, we woke in a state of slight aftermath. We were both pretty lousy, as we lay talking and laughing at the poor service at the restaurant, which then, out of nowhere led to us rolling around in bed indulging in some body contact.
After the morning "run" we went downstairs for breakfast.
Around us were mainly couples or families basically anything that suggested the stereotypical 'norm' and heterosexual settings. It was a clear observation but not one that continued to bother me.
When we got back to the room, we lay talking about what we were going to do with the day. I had suggested going on a bus tour to learn a bit about the area, I did also think it may be of interest to both of us but I got no response so, apparently undecided, we ventured out to discuss it over lunch.
Over lunch Dave seemed a bit distant, as though he was bored already and I was getting bored trying to fathom. I started to wonder if we could only stomach each others company for one day at a time, the conversation over lunch was not exactly thrilling. Dave seemed desperate to come across as though there was nothing wrong but it was as clear as (some) day that there was. He went on a tangent about houses that he owns which for some reason led to him saying he could buy a house and rent it out to me. It just came from no where! Luckily he justified it with a 'payment in kind' sort of joke.
We walked around and then Dave suggested we go for on a bus tour. The tour seemed pleasant enough with a 'salt of the earth' lady named Jan, Jan was the tour guide narrating the journey, occasionally throwing in the odd joke, which in all honesty were not that funny. The trip however was very interesting on the history of Chester; the architecture and culture. Dave did seem involved with what was being said too.
After the tour, me and Dave made our way back to the hotel for a drink, I had taken my Tennessee whiskey with me for us to guzzle. We started off with a drink in the bar downstairs where Dave started talking about his options for his job over the next year, he said that he had no plans whether or not to stay or what else he was going to do, he even suggested me moving with him. I did not know if he was being serious, he looked serious... I snapped out of it! of course he did not mean it, I had enough experience and evidence to know he did not mean it so I took it with a pinch of salt.
After our drink, we went back up to the hotel room, where we lay, for some reason, exhausted so we decided to stay in for a bit and recharge. We could not have been too exhausted as we got down to fondling. Dave had me on all fours as he rimmed me, he was like a hungry puppy as he just went for it, it drove me insane and made my body tingle as he pulled me back onto his face firmly and showed no mercy. I went down on him, still on all fours as he I gobbled he played with my ass, until I turned him on his back and I carried on with him in my mouth, Dave then suggested we get the camera out. Dave was the one taking photos of me working on him, which obviously carried through to capturing the main act; using side shots of penetration and also taking shots of our reflection in the mirror to capture every angle...nearly.
A movie and a sleep later, we got ourselves all cleaned up and headed out, the town was pretty quiet so we ended up, yet again, going to an Indian restaurant and then for a quiet drink before heading back to the hotel room to end our last night with...sleep.
The following morning we woke and had overslept slightly so we had to rush to make breakfast!
Today we had planned to do a bit of sight seeing before we went back but it turned out to be a walk around the shops. Dave had decided that he was going to do some minor Christmas shopping for some close relatives, I had not intended on finishing my Christmas shopping until I returned home, therefore, I was following him around like some lost pup. It was irritating enough for me and it was also starting to show how it was irritating Dave. Dave was one of those people who thinks he does not show expression or feelings, kind of like a real man. But it sort of oozed out of him, usually in the form of hot air whenever I was around, but it was still clear what Dave was feeling despite the front he would put on. It was a good sign to read as it definitely made the false feelings, say his said feelings for me look staged.
So there I was following Dave around, noticing his anger boil up, he looked at me as though to check I was still there but when he did look at me, it was as though I was invisible and he had made no secret of his opinion on that.
We went for a coffee after he had bought some gift cards, who needs enemies? I had decided a particular worldwide coffee shop as I wanted him to try their Egg Nog Latte. As we sat with our drinks Dave sat there on his phone and in silence, I was the spare tool again. I asked him what was wrong but he just said
I asked
After the morning "run" we went downstairs for breakfast.
Around us were mainly couples or families basically anything that suggested the stereotypical 'norm' and heterosexual settings. It was a clear observation but not one that continued to bother me.
When we got back to the room, we lay talking about what we were going to do with the day. I had suggested going on a bus tour to learn a bit about the area, I did also think it may be of interest to both of us but I got no response so, apparently undecided, we ventured out to discuss it over lunch.
Over lunch Dave seemed a bit distant, as though he was bored already and I was getting bored trying to fathom. I started to wonder if we could only stomach each others company for one day at a time, the conversation over lunch was not exactly thrilling. Dave seemed desperate to come across as though there was nothing wrong but it was as clear as (some) day that there was. He went on a tangent about houses that he owns which for some reason led to him saying he could buy a house and rent it out to me. It just came from no where! Luckily he justified it with a 'payment in kind' sort of joke.
We walked around and then Dave suggested we go for on a bus tour. The tour seemed pleasant enough with a 'salt of the earth' lady named Jan, Jan was the tour guide narrating the journey, occasionally throwing in the odd joke, which in all honesty were not that funny. The trip however was very interesting on the history of Chester; the architecture and culture. Dave did seem involved with what was being said too.
After the tour, me and Dave made our way back to the hotel for a drink, I had taken my Tennessee whiskey with me for us to guzzle. We started off with a drink in the bar downstairs where Dave started talking about his options for his job over the next year, he said that he had no plans whether or not to stay or what else he was going to do, he even suggested me moving with him. I did not know if he was being serious, he looked serious... I snapped out of it! of course he did not mean it, I had enough experience and evidence to know he did not mean it so I took it with a pinch of salt.
After our drink, we went back up to the hotel room, where we lay, for some reason, exhausted so we decided to stay in for a bit and recharge. We could not have been too exhausted as we got down to fondling. Dave had me on all fours as he rimmed me, he was like a hungry puppy as he just went for it, it drove me insane and made my body tingle as he pulled me back onto his face firmly and showed no mercy. I went down on him, still on all fours as he I gobbled he played with my ass, until I turned him on his back and I carried on with him in my mouth, Dave then suggested we get the camera out. Dave was the one taking photos of me working on him, which obviously carried through to capturing the main act; using side shots of penetration and also taking shots of our reflection in the mirror to capture every angle...nearly.
A movie and a sleep later, we got ourselves all cleaned up and headed out, the town was pretty quiet so we ended up, yet again, going to an Indian restaurant and then for a quiet drink before heading back to the hotel room to end our last night with...sleep.
The following morning we woke and had overslept slightly so we had to rush to make breakfast!
Today we had planned to do a bit of sight seeing before we went back but it turned out to be a walk around the shops. Dave had decided that he was going to do some minor Christmas shopping for some close relatives, I had not intended on finishing my Christmas shopping until I returned home, therefore, I was following him around like some lost pup. It was irritating enough for me and it was also starting to show how it was irritating Dave. Dave was one of those people who thinks he does not show expression or feelings, kind of like a real man. But it sort of oozed out of him, usually in the form of hot air whenever I was around, but it was still clear what Dave was feeling despite the front he would put on. It was a good sign to read as it definitely made the false feelings, say his said feelings for me look staged.
So there I was following Dave around, noticing his anger boil up, he looked at me as though to check I was still there but when he did look at me, it was as though I was invisible and he had made no secret of his opinion on that.
We went for a coffee after he had bought some gift cards, who needs enemies? I had decided a particular worldwide coffee shop as I wanted him to try their Egg Nog Latte. As we sat with our drinks Dave sat there on his phone and in silence, I was the spare tool again. I asked him what was wrong but he just said
"Nothing, I'm just not a fan of all these crowds"
I asked
"What do you want to do now?"
He sighed and said
"What do YOU want to do?"
so I suggested
"We can go to the museum?"
The museum was slightly across town which meant an awkward silent walk to get there. Once inside, Dave started to walk off, it was clear, he had definitely had enough of me. I walked slower to give him a break from me and took my time to absorb the museum. It was not until a fair way around that he decided he would accept me as a fellow human being and communicate, but I figured I would still leave him on his break, so I ignored him, that is until he came up to me and grabbed my bottom. We saw the rest of the museum together and even spoke to each other.
On the way home, we were, once again, sat in complete silence. So I asked again
"Are you sure, you're OK?"
Dave reluctantly responded
"Yes, why do you keep asking?"
I explained
"You are very quiet"
Dave nodded, there was something wrong but it was time for me to shut the fuck up. There was no conversation for the rest of the journey home.
Once we returned home, we did the rounds to dump our bags and when we got to his house, we decided to go for food.
We walked to the restaurant which was slightly more vocal than the rest of the day as we reflected on the past two days. However once at our table we were somehow, again, rendered speechless, this was the most awkward as we were face to face. Dealing with a day in silence, Dave then chimed up
"Are we going to sit here in silence?"
I replied
"I don't know, are we?"
Dave nodded his head as though I was being out of order, despite his incapability to hold a conversation throughout the day, he was now ready to speak and I was the one who was being out of order...naturally.
We managed to enjoy our starter, without any attempt at a conversation, but our mains was the restaurants take on a traditional Christmas dinner and despite it's appetising aesthetic, I was pissed off! Dave had seemed mindless throughout the whole day, he had not made any attempt to try and make something of the day and I was feeling as though this day would be the memory of my 25th birthday...i.e. ruined!
So instead of dwelling on the day with a selfish approach, I tried to forget the day and concentrate on my food. The meal came with Cranberry sauce, I had only tried Cranberry sauce once and liked it, I did not have an essay worthy opinion on it but I remember liking it, but I decided not to have it with my meal. Dave asked
"are you not going to have your cranberry sauce?"
I came over all short fused, which seemed as though it was beyond my control as I said
"No"
Dave did not seem to respond well to this
"why, don't you like it?"
myself not wanting our only memorable conversation being a discussion or an argument on cranberry sauce, came out with
"No"
Dave gave me a glare with no expression. Dave gave this look whenever something was said that was not in aggreance with him, for someone to disagree with him and still be in his company seemed to confuse him. So once again we sat in silence.
After our main meal, we sat in silence again, I was reaching boiling point so I counted to ten and just after our plates had been cleared, I asked
"what has been up with you today?"
I received nothing, just a pathetic gaze. So I asked more questions
"Are you bored with me?"
hoping he would become human and say something, he replied
"...and what if I said yes?"
I finally had my answer, but I still sat there not knowing whether or not to get up and walk out, my mind and heart had finally switched; I felt the urge to get up and walk out so bad but my mind was racing with questions and then I could feel the emotional build up that I should have been dealing with on my way home...alone. We sat in silence until we received the bill.
On the way back, Dave seemed to be full of words, clearly words that I had longed to hear and he had brewing up over the last 6 months.
Dave: "what, are you expecting to come from this? There is no chance of a relationship out of this and we are just wasting each others time if we carry on seeing each other..."
I fought against the emotion attempting to take over, I let him speak, I had been searching for an answer from him for so long so now was not a time to act ungrateful
Dave: "...we are very different, we don't have anything in common, we are not the same! The past year has meant something completely different to you than what it has to me"
It was now getting irrelevant, it was turning into a social difference and a matter of class, so I decided to speak,
"If you have felt like this, this whole time then why have you let things drag on?"
the cat still had not got his tongue, Dave was on a role
"I don't know, maybe I saw something that no one else did and ignored all the factors that make a relationship, people ask me if the age thing is a problem and you know, it is!"
although myself and the numerous guys that I once found on Dave's phone, the age thing had not been an issue, it had been brought up but never appeared to be an issue, until it was brought in, in an attempt to give me the boot
"...we ARE different, you wouldn't even try cranberry sauce with your meal, it would have made a conversation over dinner"
It was nothing to do with Cranberry sauce, despite it being brought in as another excuse for me to disappear it was also being brought in to turn around the lack of communication throughout the day, however the silence had been going on all day and it did not start with something as pathetic as Cranberry sauce.
When we reached Dave's house, I kept my shoes on and I asked
"Do you want me to go?"
as Dave slipped his coat and shoes off, rather rapidly he turned it back on me and said
"It's up to you"
Dave then walked straight through to the living room and there I was just stood on my own in some other person's kitchen. I decided to leave, I had my answer and now it was time to seek solace in that.
As I walked away, I did not look back but I need to be behind closed doors for a minute, just to regain some composure. I text Ashley asking him if he could come and pick me up, he responded promptly and agreed.
When Ashley turned up, I climbed in the car and he asked what was up, I sat in silence and then I lost the battle with composure, despite my better judgement this man had made me believe there may have be something genuine feeling in him and it hurt even more that I fell weak to it. Ashley was very considerate and stayed silent as he drove me back to my house.
Once behind closed doors, Ashley listened, there was no opinions, no judgement, he may not have even listened but at the time it felt so good to tell someone that knew me. The only thing Ashley said was
"I don't understand, why did he just not say anything and keep things lite?"
After I had calmed down, the phone rang, it was Dave. I picked up and took the phone in the other room.
Dave said "How are you? Are you at home?"
"Yes"
I said
Dave : "why didn't you tell me you were leaving? You just left me thinking you were in the kitchen and when I walked through, you wasn't there and you know, where was my thank you?"
out of all the things he could have requested at this point, thank you was a lost cause. I stood there in silence thinking there was nothing to talk about now and then addressed that I should not have even answered the phone if I thought that was actually the case, I let Dave talk
"after one argument, you just walk out after I drove there and back, that is not what a relationships is about"
shocked at the confidence to claim such a thing I said
"you think this is a relationship do you?
because it wasn't half an hour ago"
Dave: "well yes, we've been seeing each other for a while now so I think it does class as a relationship"
in response to Dave's attempt at a justification, I asked
"so what has changed in the last thirty minutes?"
Dave then asked
"why don't you come back over here and we can talk about it properly?"
and there in the dark, with no direction I agreed to go over to Dave's to talk about something that now failed to matter.
