If A Job Is Worth Doing...

After my mind had been put to rest due to my experimentation, conclusion was still pending. I had lost all patience with people, everyone just felt like a burden. Even bumping into people in the street felt like a chore. I had no idea what I actually wanted from people. I had met some very quick men and some very stupid women and somewhere along the line vice-versa.
The name escapes me but that was not the reason he happened to become in my presence anyway. He was 27, mixed race with a 'cheeky chappie' look to him, so why not have him over.
It did not take him long to turn up, I was nearly impressed. when I answered the door he was wearing a woolen jumper with sweat pants and trainers, very casual and I was starting to firm up.
 He had a breathy deep voice too as if he was some mythical Italian Lothario, but with an English accent. He whispered:

"You OK?"

I replied in my gay-by-comparison voice

"Yes are you?"

I considered myself to have a slight camp tint to my voice but this soothing voice was making me feel inferior to speak...tenfold! Therefore the matter needed to be sped along so there was no need for speech!

The approach to the unwrapping was hot but he just seemed to rip his clothes off instead of peeling them away from his body, no anticipation. His body was not athletic, like his profile and his text messages said, he had a flat stomach but then he had a flat chest too...oh! It was not a problem as he looked very nice in his fitting grey Calvin Klein briefs, and what was underneath made up for everything else.
He was forceful for a start with his touch and how he threw me around. After undressing faster than the speed of light, he raced over with his very large member standing proud from his body and pushed me down onto the bed, which said to me that I was going to enjoy this. His moves were very firm, precise and quick...but hopefully not too quick! He was quite rapid and forceful, I gave in and let him do whatever the hell he wanted to me.
During foreplay he had a good range; being very rapid and then suddenly changing into a slow stroke, both remained very lubricated and sloppy, by texture not method! I was getting close, I was worried that maybe I was going to climax too soon and as if he had realised we swapped. I tried to return the favour in the same way but I had not gotten over the whole rubbery texture, so I put each hands on each of his bottom cheeks and pulled him back towards me in order for him to work up a rhythm. He went like the clappers!

I was not sure how I was going to accomodate him but due to his inspiring stamina I felt like I was ready to give it a good go!

He grabbed some protection that HE HAD BROUGHT WITH HIM, donned the 'love glove'and slid his hands up my thighs, pushing my legs back as he reached the back of my knees. Let the games begin!

I will not lie, it did hurt as this man was bigger than the Singapore Sword. We had used enough lubrication that it should have been easy but it just was not happening, I was not getting into it that is until he turned me over and took me from behind, this changed evertything, which I thought was strange as my body was not exactly accepting of this yet and I was put in a position in which he could venture deeper...that aside it was clearly a better angle.

However the rapid race began again and it did not hurt, it felt great, even greater for him. He had reached his climax. That was it, he lay next to me and asked me about how I was. I said with an unconvincing tone as if I was almost asking;

"OK?"

I was frustrated! There had been this throwdown that was very stimulating and I had caught myself in the moment of it and then nothing, it was actually worse than watching a movie as the film starts to conclude and then there is a power cut!

He did ask if I had "finished" but I gave him an answer that had the same approach as his question, he had reached his destination so I needed to meet mine i.e. get out!

With frustration getting the better of me, I trawled through the profile sites but it was too late to find anyone who

1. Had not yet had their itch scratched
2. Had already gone to sleep.

The only option was to sort the matter myself, just like with everything thats worth doing.

Is this really for me? at least with women there is the chance to meet the others needs no matter whose are met first.

Trying Out: The Sequel

After a failed relationship that was more like babysitting, I was enjoying my new freedom; I woke up a single man, I went wherever I wanted as a single man and whether or not I went to bed alone...I was still a single man!
The urge however was creeping back up on me I was feeling the need for something more tangible to out do the first attempt at being with a man, so I got myself back in the swing. I thought I may as well do it properly and get chatting as oppose to meeting the first person who is willing... It did not take long.
He was a doctor, or at least he claimed to be, he at least could have been a pharmacist. He was originally from Singapore but was very much your English gentleman. In his pictures was this smooth, toned body in only his briefs, I was a bit unsure whether or not this was actually genuine so I chatted first to find out. It did not take long before we was arranging to meet and we met the next day. I was so nervous, I had no idea what to expect. We had agreed that he would pick me up from the train station which made me feel more nervous as he would be there when I step onto the street. He was not there but around the other side, this was my chance to run back in and go home but something stopped me, I called him and he zoomed around the corner to me. When I got in the car, my excitement increased; tight jeans and a tight, albeit pink, polo t-shirt and in a 1930's stereotypical British accent he greeted me "hello".
During the short journey, I noticed every time he changed gear that he was sporting what appeared to be a wedding ring and considering the guy was 40 I started to panic, I was imagining a family scenario, toys in the corner, make up on the dresser in front of where we were about to be indulging in adultery! I wondered where is she now? What if she comes home early? Am I thinking too much? The ring was not a traditional wedding ring but that hardly meant that it was OK to carry on.
When we arrived I found myself intrigued by his house, it was beautiful, very modern and not too dissimilar to Edwina's house in Absolutely Fabulous. I was amazed and felt more at ease, I am not too sure why, maybe because it did not represent anything that may have appeared unsafe. We migrated to the living room where I was offered a drink I had a glass of red wine as did he and then it was time to focus on the reason I was there!
All it took was for him to say

                                 
                   "Shall I break the ice?"

so he did, it was silly of me but I gave in, what else was I there for? He had a firm yet tender kiss and an equally disarming touch. He got up and started to take it clothes off, they seemed to disappear faster than the speed of light, which shocked me as we had started building some anticipation and then he asked:

"Shall we go to the bedroom?" 



Of course that is where we ended up. There were no windows in the room apart from in the roof. The room was mainly beige and had a subtle scent of men's deodorant which helped matters along. The same weakening touch was then resumed. I was completely open and although I was still nervous I wanted this man to go wild with me, he seemed to enjoy my body and the feeling was mutual, there was no heaviness yet it was not ignorant or degrading, it was just what it was.

It was not all perfect though, if I am honest, the guy was hung like a horse and for someone who was giving it a second chance...well it was quite alarming. I was terrified; how was I going to handle this? even more so accommodate it?!

It was a strange experience, not rushed like the first one! I did find the texture quite strange. It felt like a rubber object in my mouth at first but I carried on as this would not be the case for him.

We rolled around his double bed in his manly scented beige, room changing positions and roles. The role changing was not as strange, as I had tried anal with girls and I thought it would be more enjoyable for me but I did not have a preference, at first I could not get into it. I thought I was going to lose my ability to perform shall we say? However I seemed to manage a rhythm. The alarming thing was that despite how turned on I was, I failed to reach climax. I had been quite close throughout and then nothing! What the hell was going on?! He had managed to reach his destination perfectly. We lay talking about general interests what he is doing with his life and what I want to do... Of course time was ticking, it was 11:45pm and he rushed up and said that he needed to get me home, I asked why the rush and he revealed that he was waiting for his boyfriend. I was quite shocked and mentioned his wedding. He appeared embarrassed but it was there for everyone to see. Apparently their relationship was open, I did not tell him that I would be checking online to see if this was true. When I arrived home I did my so called research and he was telling the truth as I had found his husband's profile.
I nearly did not return but due to the fun conversation we had and the fact he ordered me to go back and fulfil my duty...

"You owe me your cum!"

It was only good manners to do as I was told finish the job off properly. 

The second meeting was on a lunch break and this time in a lighter room, with windows in the walls and with the curtains back. Apparently they were tinted, which was a good enough answer, I did not mind if he was telling the truth. The job came to a climax which felt like an awakening. The build up was quite intense and with the 'no-show' the first time around, it only became more intense by the second time so when I left, I left with the possiblity of returning...Maybe. I knew I was enjoying myself and if it went wrong, we had enough distance and who might have known if I could have made a friend.

Trying Out: The Interval

After the first attempt I had found myself put off by this animalistic act. So I resorted to what I knew and by that I mean going back to basics and entertaining the idea of girls. This was an attraction that felt quite natural to me especially as there was so much anticipation built on the act of infatuation. The girl had started working with me, we were introduced and all my memory was at first was that she had this crazy faded colour in her hair like when red or pink hair fades but the 'bleach' look is shining through. She had the look of a glamour model; out and about in heeled boots and large vests worn as dresses with the all important wide belt. We had not yet had the chance to hold a conversation until we bumped into each other in a nightclub in town, we were drunk but I will admit that we clicked. We spent quite a bit of time together and it was always fun and we even found ourselves working together more frequently...I do not know if our bosses were trying to tell us something or not but then that's not exactly professional is it. However it was through word of mouth of our managers that we were told how much the other had been talking. The build up of excitement was all in place and it was not long until we confronted each other about it and sorted ourselves out.
As we got to know each other, and I appreciate the honesty, I was made aware of her drug use of Mephodrone/MKat/Miaow (Plant Fertilizer) . I was led to believe that it was not heavy and that it was under control so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I then had to make myself clear about some things also, as she had been honest with me, it was only fair. I told her that I was OK with it as long as she knew what she was doing and it did not effect me. I was told that she would not become addicted to it as she only uses it on nights out with her friends to enhance her mood.
Eventually the drug use inevitably became an issue, being a caring boyfriend I would be going out to meet her at 3 or 4am to find her chewing the inside of her face with dried blood trailing from her nose. Something had to give and this was not something that I could compromise with. I asked her to stop taking it as I felt it might be the healthier option and she agreed.
About a month later we were both out with our own friends and we would meet up nearer the end of the night so we could walk home together. I thought it was a nice way of ending the night. However when I got there, she would not speak to me. I thought that she was probably having a really good time so I left her to it as I bought myself a drink and then I hear

"Hello? can I speak to you?"

I will admit that this girl was no stranger, she been into my place of work and had been very polite.

                                              "I was just wondering if you had a girlfriend?"

I told her I did and she said

                                          "That's a shame, I keep speaking to you when I come in to see you"

I am not that good at being able to recognise if anyone likes me. She had been into work a few times and commented on my hair; once when it was long and the next time when I chopped it all off into a mohawk. I told her I thought she was judst being nice.

"Yeah! But there WAS something behind it, I meant what I was saying"

Truth be told I liked the girl myself but had decided to keep it quiet and let things be until now.
Fast forward an hour or two and I was walking back with my faux 'Ball and Chain'  and I noticed she was chewing her face yet again. It had become one of her major habits! She also had a faint trail of blood between her nose and top lip, she had clearly tried to wash it away but it was still evident. I asked her if she had taken anything and she yelled:

"NO! I'm just DRUNK!"

My opinion did not matter, I had spoken to her of my concerns and I was ignored and yet I had found myself dealing with it when I had made myself perfectly clear I would not be doing. Suddenly the anonymous girl from the bar felt like a dream come true!

What the hell was I going to do?
I spoke to my housemate about it and as I did not know her name, she may have told that night but I was too excited about the news to remember, so I came up with a name of my own; Jepatal (After jepato being good with wood in Pinocchio) Rapunzel (she had long bleached blonde hair) Bloom because of the excitement I experienced when I saw her.
I decided to see how things went. I neede to see if my relationship was genuine, if I was genuine even.
It did not take long to form a decision. I decided to take a couple of days off from Miss Ball-and-Chain and during this time we did remain in contact but I did receive a phone call on the second day asking;  

"Can I have some MKat delivered to your house?" 

I stuck to my word and said no as I had already said to her that I was not involved

"So my houstemates are going to take MY MKat because of YOU?!"

My response was not symapthetic. I just gave a firm

"yes"

I doubt that it would have come back on me but I was not going to contradict myself and give it the chance.

As time (3 months) went on, like with all relationships the excitement passed. We had literally been living in each others pockets as she was always needing to stay over, there was no chance to miss each other, no pining and absence makes the heart grow fonder etc. The true colours had seeped out and the oil painting was not as nice to look at! Gone was this exciting creature that I was happy to tear the clothes from and there stood this manipulative girl who needed to be taken care of, exploding every time she did not get her way e.g. Should a conversation in bed go against her then she would pull out the threat of "I'm going home". The first time this was used, i tried to get her to stay, I took her keys from her and threatened to throw them out the window...she then proved her intentions by staying. Next time she would use this, she would not be successful.
This was a girl who was used to getting her own way in life, she even said herself after receiving a parking ticket and yelling at the traffic warden: "I find if you get aggressive with people, you get your own way". I was thankful for the warning, not that a warning was intended but I made a mental note.
I could not decide if this girl was spoilt or clever; here is a girl who has been given whatever she wants and she has acquired the tools to make sure it stays that way...I guess it could be clever?
On the night of my birthday I introduced her to my friends. My friends are quite laid back, and seemed to warm to her...until she had had a bit too much to drink with no intention of stopping; her behaviour changed, she walked out the venue, I followed and she said again that she was going home but this time was fine to admit "I'm not getting any attention" I had tried to include her in everything as she did not know many of my friends but she meant "...from everyone else". I tried to get her to see sense and it that it did not matter about receiving attention but it was not good enough, she wanted to go home and me to go with her, which after wasting enough time arguing about it...she got her way.
The attention seeking arguements carried onto the point where she was starting to become right in what she was saying. I saw her for two more months and then I had to end it, I could not deal with someone who was still dependant on her parents, someone who, despite everything I tried, would not compromise. I had put up with baby threats "maybe that way I will keep you" and that was after dodging a conversation about living together so in my own conclusion there were more cons than pros. She did not deal with it in the best way as my phone was constantly buzzing but it eventually calmed down for this person does not give in just to suit others.

Trying Out: The First Encounter

So for my first victim I choose... The idea at first was to be sexy and a bit sassy but in that cheeky way that us males tend to play it. I had trawled the Internet for someone and I was getting tired. Some did not even reply back, some were too enthusiastic, some would loose interest once told that they were dealing with an amateur and some proved promising up to the point that they just suddenly disappear of the face of the earth, this is the kind of behaviour that I could not understand at the time, what is it that makes someone act like that?
There is no experience of any bad behaviour therefore no bad opinion should have been made but somehow, some folk feel the need to run to the hills and stay there. In a short time I have come to realise that confrontation is not every body's way of dealing with things but sometimes criticism can be good, within reason.
Days went by along with my patience and my housemates were both venturing home  at the same time for a week. I was thrilled, to have the house to myself must surely have meant my hard work can pay off...? nearly but no cigar, I managed to converse with a nice human being which led to web cam, which then led to phone sex and then regular text until we met the week my housemates returned.
On the day, the meet was not planned, it was a typical "you free" situation. A phone call,  a text, then he came to pick me up, very simple. However in the flesh he was this short little man with a little belly! In his pictures and on the web cam he appeared manly, complete with a necklace, not to mention older! I had thought, "here is someone who can teach me something" I could not have been more wrong!
He had clearly made it his mission to make something happen but I was not, I had been shown around his house offered a drink and then sat down ready to take the bait...I think I'll pass. I had mentioned I was not up for it but on went the DVD followed by some minor fondle so I thought I would just bite the bullet and go for it.
It was weird at first, like I should not have been doing it yet at the same time it felt amazing, he had never gone all the way with a guy so that part was where I was having my ,that and his lack of coordination. He was clearly more turned on than I was as he kept getting carried away but slowed down for the obvious reason that he was nearly done.
Once he was sorted he, very generously, moved on to me. It took a while i must admit, I had to search through my memory or 'wank bank', as it is badly known of, just to brink myself to a close, it was probably the hardest I had, had to work in my life!