The Saga Continues?

After my rude awakening to the completely obvious, I was feeling like a clown. Dave had clearly been sleeping with people this whole time and I was too stupid to admit it as truth despite my assumptions.
I had taken the step to get past the lies and get my answer, the answer that I was confronted with was undeniable. Undoubtedly if Dave knew what I knew, He would probably try and lie his way out of it as Mr. Innocent or try to turn it into a fault of mine, but either way the bottom line was that there was no way of trying to manipulate it to work in his favour either way. he was lying about feelings yet sleeping with whoever and I was not about to be kept as a seat filler.
Two nights after defining the line between the lies and the truth...i.e. what I was being told and the the reality that was on his phone, I had once again found myself meeting up with Dave again.
I had no idea why I was meeting up with him, it was clear that I was not a big part of his life and he was just going to keep saying the same things thinking I was stupid enough to believe him which is the most diminishing thing...to think I pushed aside my judgement and gave him the benefit of the doubt just to be proved right and here I was going over yet again.
Dave had just brought a new piece of furniture, an antique piece he had bought in an auction. He had asked me to go over and help him 'move it in' along with his friend Ade, I had met Ade a while ago, he was the first friend of Dave's I had been introduced to when me and Dave had arranged to spend the weekend together and I had been badgered into working and then me and Ade were acquainted that evening.
I had been waiting pretty much all day for a time in which to go over, usually Dave would have said 8 o'clock but for some unknown reason I was waiting for the post on this one. It was not rocket science, sure it was only my assumption but the situation had become so transparent that Dave was becoming just as predictable; he had clearly been waiting on a reply from the Long Haired Lover this proved a huge possibility when Dave had also said that he may not even bother moving the piece that night.
Still I went on about my day waiting for his message, which eventually arrived around 5 o'clock to let me know that my company is only welcome from the same old time of 8 o'clock. So at 5pm he finishes work and then drives over to the Long Haired Lover's castle and asks him to let down his hair at about (around 5.45pm- 6pm), has enough of a bum just so he is able to drive back to his and look like he has been home for 8 o'clock...just a hunch.
From my point of view though, I arrived at 19:55 and saw the silhouette of two people in Dave's porch window, it was undecipherable what or who was who up until I saw hands being moved around as though someone was explaining something...this one was clearly Dave. I ventured forth and knocked on the door, I was welcomed in to a big old chunk of wood sat against the wall in Dave's kitchen... they had clearly moved the antique already despite me being asked to come at 8 o'clock and help. Ade starting asking questions about what I was up to, the same questions I had answered when I met him the first time as well as meeting some of Dave's other friends, the same kind of questions that my Grandmother would ask minus the typical "are you eating well?".
Th conversation rolled on and then it was time to admire the piece and how it looked against the wall, I could appreciate what they were doing, it looked OK against the wall but in all honesty nothing profound as it was still just a cabinet against a wall and did not need the amount of pondering in which to appreciate. They said nothing to each other, they just stood in silence absorbing the sight of the cabinet against this wall...I watched them, watching it...are they really just looking at it?
Ade chimed up

"This is something us old people do, stare at furniture"

Dave then said

"I would have preferred it in my bedroom but it's a bloody mission getting it up the stairs"

Ade contributed

"oh yes, everyone could appreciate it in there couldn't they Dave?"

He clearly knew how true that statement was, could Dave have been bragging about the Long Haired Lover before I got around there?

"There is only one person who is going to appreciate it in there"

said Dave, to which Ade trilled while looking at me

"Ooh, did you hear that? just one person who will appreciate it in his bedroom"

Yes, it is quite possible He knows about the Long Haired Lover.

Ade then turned to Dave and informed Dave he had to get going, but as he was leaving he very strangely said to Dave

"You want to look after this one Dave, He needs some looking after"

I do not know If he was referring to how weak I had become, should he know about Dave's Under 30's Sex Club and how gullible I had been, so I interrupted with

"I can look after myself, thank you"

He smiled as Dave rather camply 'oohed'. I was aware of more than they knew.

He did not ask about my day or what I actually thought of the piece of furniture, he just shut the door after Ade had left and went to do the washing up. I felt like a spare tool, just stood there waiting for communication.

After washing up in silence Dave asked if I was OK, I responded positively and asked if he was OK too which was received with a nod...then that was the end of that conversation. We sat watching TV, this was something that we had frustratingly found ourselves mainly doing. Dave was very quiet still, not even commenting on what he liked or disliked or agreed with in what we was watching... silence.

When we went to bed, Dave had said he was tired and wanted to sleep, there was a bit of fondling, I had taken it into my own hands literally. I rolled on to him and slowly moved my way down his body kissing him as I ventured further south, he was already hard when I got down there, I took him in my mouth and then then wet both of my hands and cupped the tip of his penis with repetition. I held back the foreskin with one hand and sliding my left hand up and down his shaft making sure I covered the tip also and then to cupping again and occasional sucking, Dave did seem to enjoy this and as he seemed like he was having a good time, I wet my right hand and played with his ass, eventually sliding two fingers up his ass and tilting them to nudge his G-Spot; The Prostate. Dave said that it felt nice, I was enjoying it myself especially when he said he was close and eventually about to come, he said thank you in such a genuine way that it may have been the first time I had believed something he had said in months.

As we lay there in the dark, I asked why he had been quiet, He said it was to do with work and that he was not really aware he had been quiet. He started going off on a tangent about how he enjoyed me coming over and gay relationships and a holiday home?

"would you like to get a place abroad that's ours? I guess it will have to be my money though. I can't be doing with these sites. Everyone on sites are just after sex, people lie about their age and put up fake pictures, I'm tired of that whole thing. You know, we can get you on £40,000 a year, don't sleep around as everyone usually goes after fresh Cock and we can see how it goes."

I was baffled, I lay there in the dark both literally and also with Dave. After all he has spouted about me not being good enough and I get something that is so whimsical that I should have walked out there and then but of course I was not about to do that.
The next morning when he was in the shower I thought about his intentions of what he had said last night, what would be the point? I checked his phone again for comments from the Long Haired Lover...There was nothing, everything had gone, I checked the phonebook on the phone and he was nowhere to be seen. It was suddenly clear why Dave had been acting the way he had last night...had he been ditched?
Either way, whatever the case, I knew enough to not believe a word he says within this context, I was like a Yo-Yo, I was being pulled in and tossed back out, we both knew it but he was unaware that I was also aware.

Lost In Thought and Feeling

Spontaneity can be a lovely thing, I always dreamed I would either tell somebody my feelings or even propose to someone while singing their favourite song in the nude with only a guitar maintaining my dignity...but too much went into the idea for it not to be spontaneous and first and foremost I would need to learn guitar!
I have never before had the inspiration from another to feel such things, I get bored quickly when it comes to people, so it takes a certain person to make me want to stick around. At this point that person was Dave and I was terrified that this emotion may actually be real. My feelings for him had caught up with me and over took everyone else that I had ever got close to yet, with Dave I had found myself not even getting close to at all.
I had spent the majority of the past month trying to keep an open mind and play along with things; letting things go in one ear and out of the other yet at the same time analysing the situation; this was for my own benefit, for if I weighed up everything, without talking about emotions then I would come to my own conclusions, without anyone disputing them for their own personal gain. On the other hand; should the unrealistic happen, that being him meaning what he said, then I could let my subconscious rule and the isolation melt away.
I had spent yet another week deep in thought about as much as I had in his company, I had addressed the whole going-along-with-things before and each time I tried, it did not get any easier, should I say something? or should I disappear? Maybe I could turn up at his house and tell him how I feel?
but I will either find him with someone or he will be pissed off that I woke him, either way it will result in an angry response which will lead to a negative attitude. So I needed to give it more time.
Every waking moment,  I longed to feel his touch, his skin, his body, smell his scent, kiss his lips, wrap my arms around his body as he lay with me, thrust against me, inside me. I liked to watch him in concentration, whether it be deep into something on the television or on DVD, to reading books or doing DIY. The look on his face as he absorbs what unfolds before him made my knees weak. Just watching him read or explain what he was doing when he put up a shelf or a mirror made me want to grab his face and kiss it right off...but then I am left with the reality of still not knowing the mutual feeling.
I got excited whenever I was about to see him, sad when I had to leave him and then I would catch myself analysing his behaviour and his words and the fact that they would never add up.
So as I was so far, this time, successful in keeping my feelings hidden...when in the company of the cause of the problem anyway, I figured that I was doing no wrong. However inside, I was going crazy; all these emotions taking over like some illegal addiction and there is no rehabilitation programme for that. So I gave myself more time without knowing what it would achieve.
Most of the week had been taken up by thoughts consumed of this situation. I still had no plan and this feeling of not screaming out my feelings was absolutely killing me, I was walking around at work feeling quite down and as though something was slipping through my fingers in the space of the time it takes for the clock on countdown to finish. So as it all boiled up, I gave it my best shot but I had reached boiling point and text him:

"I love you, I don't know if you feel the same way, I have my doubts but I needed to tell you. I know it's weak of me but I do love you"

as I wrote, I could feel my heart pounding, which got more rapid as I wrote, right up until sending...the damage had been done, if he did not want me now then this was both of our escape routes.
I went about an hour and then checked my phone, Dave had responded

"It's not weak of you to have emotions, it's all fair enough telling me but I want you to show me, prove it to me"

Love as an allegory should not be a sport and neither should a more defined concept of it either, yet I felt a competitive streak grow inside me, as soon as I read the message, I thought 'you're on' which was then followed by thoughts of how? If the actions and his words fail to match up then I can only show him with my actions just like he said but I will always risk remaining in limbo as he never means what he says.
That weekend we had arranged for me to go over. Nothing was mentioned in the way of what I had previously mentioned. We went about our night as usual...watching TV and then going to bed. Dave said he was tired and did not feel in the mood for any activities other than sleep, so we both got ready for bed and climbed in with the intention of slumber, only for me to bring up

"what did you think of my message?"

his response was

"which message?"

I answered

"the message I sent you on Friday?"

It was only Sunday and he did reply, therefore he could not have forgotten already.

"I can't be doing with these mind games, it's childish"

I asked:

"what is so childish about admitting something like this, I have no intention or agenda. I'm just telling you how I feel"

He went on some rant about how I always say it, like I had some disorder that I could not face up to and he was telling me that I have some sort of problem, filling the thought gaps of what next to throw in there next to tear me down with 'er...', 'erm...' and 'You know...' which tempted me to say ''no I don't know'.

It was clear that he was the one playing these childish games that I was being accused of. It had occured to me that he may be playing these games based on how he See's me but then that is his own doing.

As his voice got more assertive, I lost my patience and interrupted with

"Do you want me to go?"

Dave said

"I think that might be best don't you?"

It was clear, surely this is my answer, yes I was reading between the lines but he said he wanted me to go, albeit trying to put it into my own hands so it was not down to him but the bottom line was definite that he wanted me to go. I gathered my stuff and went downstairs, I got myself together and then I found myself stood there with one boot on, thinking... I did not want to go, I did not know what foundations had been laid, pretty much nothing I guess but either way I was not prepared to walk away from this man, this man who could not see past the end of his nose with or without sunglasses.

So I took my shoes off and went back upstairs and said

"I don't want to go"

He said

"Don't you...? Well you may as well stay now as it's getting late"

However it was not much later than when he prompted me to leave. I stayed that night, we arranged to see each other again the following night as there was no need for bad blood. There was a bit of physical activity the next morning.

As I lay there, in his bed as he went in to get in the shower, something urged me for certification. He had left his mobile on his bedside table and I did something that I never thought I would ever catch myself doing...go through it!

I looked through his messages and despite all my doubts, I was still shocked to be proven right, there was two messages from two guys; one guy was complementing him on his picture and had obviously sent him a picture of himself too which was the next message: a mid shot pic of a long haired guy in his briefs, clearly in his early 20's, admittedly he was very nice looking. The conversation was arranging to meet the following night at 6pm, the same night I had already arranged something with Dave. The next guy clearly had already been acted on once before, there was talk of getting together and missing "being inside that ass" but the worst thing was Dave had sent a message in reply stating

"I remember you having a very chewable foreskin"

I was first thrown by how the texture of that would be...rubber? the conversation was complete with a typical cock and crack shot...I say crack, everything was pulled open that you could nearly see the guy's lunch. So clearly your typical kind of photo's clearly not dealing with art students here.

The second guy was asking when Dave was next at the gym, Dave went to the gym every night after work and now it was clear why. Feeling mortified and ashamed, I put the phone down and got myself dressed. Dave came galloping into the bedroom in a towel and I asked

"what time shall I come over tonight?"

Dave responded

"I don't know dude, I'm going to the gym later so about 8?"


 

I was thrown, which one was he meeting? both? there was surely not enough time? I had spent the whole day trying not to think about it, again I was in the comfort zone of blocking everything out...the healthiest option but every time I closed my eyes there were the pictures from Dave's phone emblazoned in my mind.
That night I was waiting for 8pm, thinking to myself: 'are they done yet?' then I received a text from Dave:

"Hi, I'm done at the gym early, I can come pick you up as it is on my way" 

 

This threw me completely, not only was I under the impression he was meeting someone but if he had gone to the gym like he had said then I was certainly not on his way home.

When he arrived he rolled up on the car park across the road and waited for his next appointment i.e. me. When I climbed in the car, he was in his work clothes, but maybe he had a shower? but there was no scent of anything no scent of cleanliness nor sweat. We had the whole 'good day' conversation on the journey home, everything went through one ear and out the other for it was more than likely being thought of the second it came out of his mouth.

Later that evening I had calmed down, he seemed to be acting his normal self and I was nearly forgetting about the long haired lover from the mobile phone until he slipped up and apologised for having chilli breath, if I could smell it

 

 "Because I've had some chilli nuts tonight" 

 

I was unaware that you could get chilli nuts during at the gym? It all made sense then that Dave had not been to the gym like he had said. Instead he had been for a drink with the long haired lover.

I did ask about the alleged chilli nuts at the gym and his response was

 

 

"I bumped into a friend and we went for a drink instead"

 

 

this was admitted to despite texting me, telling me he had finished the gym early.

The next morning, I had the opportunity to check his phone again, the long haired lover was there again in the inbox with a couple of messages leading up to and at 6pm, the time Dave said he would be at the gym. The messages being how they were going to meet up:

During the day:

Long Haired Lover: "Hello Dave, are we still on for tonight?"

Dave: "Yes dude, I will ring you at lunch time to arrange. What car do you drive?"

Leading up to 6pm:

Dave: "I'm at the back of the car park waiting, let me know when you get here"

Afterwards:

Long Haired Lover: "It was nice meeting you, You are lovely and I would like to us to meet up again"

I was torn, do I confront him or do I see what happens? either way I was going to come out of this worse off but at least I would have my answer, an answer that he is too much of a coward to admit to.

Along For The Ride: Que Sera

As time drew on, I was getting no closer to any form of a conclusion. Anything I said or disputed was always treated with something that always failed to be a straight answer, anything I said in the way of my feelings was just agreed with, which then, without fail, soon became a contradiction and also not defined and then catch him in the wrong mood and it was all thrown back in my face as playing "mind games". It was beginning to look as though he was the one playing games.
Dave was nearly ready to set sail (by plane) for yet another holiday with the guy who I had recently met after he had stayed on Dave's sofa. I had a few problems at work which I was managing to keep on top of but was stopped in my tracks as now someone was jetting off attempting 'the life of Riley' again, I had my friends but beside not having his advice, I was not going to have his company; his face, his laugh whenever I said something silly, his scent, his body to grab onto in bed among other things. The truth is I had managed before but as I was dealing with occupational difficulties, I really wanted him close by. I had to check myself...that kind of thinking is for relationships, which is where the reality crept in, I knew my feelings for him and the urge I had for him but all that could be taken away without him having to think twice or consider how I felt, should I make it clear.
As what felt like his billionth holiday of the year was drawing closer, I had been fortunate enough to find myself another job, one of my previous managers, named Andy, had offered me a job working for him again as he knew my values and the way I am able to work...I did not even need an interview.
On the first day of starting my new job, everything felt as daunting as everything usually does on your first day, I did not have much dealing with Andy as I was left with all the people below him so it was pretty much like starting a whole new job with new people. Everything was new, everything was different, I had not been a fan of my previous job for some time but with the job market being the way it was, finding another job proved difficult despite my efforts to change things.
I felt alone, Dave had gone on holiday the day I started and I had no one really to talk to about it, at least with someone who knew the whole situation at the time, had he of even listened.
I decided I was not staying and needed to get out of this job also, so I went back to speak to one of the other managers and they said they would let me know what they could do, in the meantime, I had to sit tight and carry on with where I was until I got the green light. I think I managed to keep a brave face but on top of everything, I was missing Dave and the whole time was not very nice. I was counting down the days to his return.
The following week, I was invited into my old place of work to speak on my return. I had been offered a promotion and would start back in two weeks. Worried about my switching back and forth, I text Dave telling him

"I am sorted with my old job, will talk to you when you get back. I'm just worried I will look unreliable, possibly even scared. I think I may love you and I don't want all this to fall through. I know I'm being dramatic. Anyway are you having a nice time?"

I was shocked to receive a quick response as my experience had me thinking that I would not hear from him until the next day and that would only be a response to whether or not he was having a nice holiday, the rest would just go ignored.

"That's the nicest thing I think you have ever said to me. You need to realise that you are very special to me and I don't want you to go anywhere"

I did read between the lines and wonder that due to the depressing time I was having, he had decided that the content of his message was polite but then I put my cynical hat back in it's box and just let the message be...deleted.

On the day Dave returned, I had a text message telling me he was home and that I could see him on my lunch break...When I arrived, Dave looked fresh, relaxed and tanned, all complete with a beige shirt...this beige was acceptable as he looked delectable!
We conversed about his holiday and ventured upstairs, it was playing into his hands but we were both horny.
We had sex on his stairs, we could not make it to the bedroom. We started kissing in the kitchen then spoke of the intention of moving to the bedroom, then just as we walked up the stairs, I turned around towards him, flung open his belt to reach for his cock and he then turned me around, tugged open my trousers, bent me over and rimmed me. His tongue was rapid and managed to cover everywhere it needed; very quick but definitely working the area as he flicked the outside and darted his tongue in and out of my ass. I turned around as he pulled away and watched as he spat on his cock, he looked at me with a firm expression on his face as he inserted his cock inside me, as he started to thrust the pleasure was written across his face, I turned back around and rested my face on the step and indulged. He whipped his member out and we moved to the bedroom where he took me bent over the bed.
After climax, we lay talking about his holiday, which led to him telling me about him nearly being setting up with someone who his friends thought looked just like him. I was shown a photo of the 2nd Dave, he was clearly younger and did look similar but not identical. For Dave to have slept with someone who looked like himself would not have proved shocking to me, as it would have been seen as some sort of mindless achievement, one reason being a sub conscious vain act and the other just in case some one ever told him to go 'fuck himself', the same concept as sleep with a pregnant woman or a friend's mother or sleeping with a dwarf, so I asked:

"Did you sleep with him?"

his response was

"No, I had the opportunity to sleep with some one but I didn't"

I did not believe him, how could I? I had been put in such a confusing position with him so what was I supposed to think? If he had not slept with the so called lookalike then he did sleep with some else if not as well as then instead of.

I changed the subject slightly... and we got talking, again, about what was going on, we went around in the same circles but this time I derailed by asking

"do you really think I would just leave? I would consult those closest to me and see what the options are"

My response to this was not what I had predicted.

"Yes that is fair enough but I want someone who is sorted in life. I don't want to carry anyone"

I was mortified. I had made the odd joke about him and his friends being pretentious but I did not one hundred percent firmly believe they were all judging me by what I earned. I realised I had mentioned money awhile ago but I felt I had explained myself with what I actually meant. The truth be told, I was not interested in the guy's money at all, yes I was intrigued by what jobs he had done and how he had earned whatever money he had as well as certain investments he spoke of but but he is only going to tell me what he feels comfortable with and I had no intention of being nosy and finding out more as that was not what I was interested in. I could feel my emotions taking over, kind of how I imagine something toxic such as Poison or Heroin when it gets into the blood stream I managed to pluck up enough courage to utter the words

"when have I ever asked you for a penny?" 

it was a serious enough question that I wanted him to answer but all I got was

"Don't get upset"

which of course is easier said than done when a cynical joke is actually proved a reality of someone you thought actually had a soul.

After falling weak to the curse of emotions, I apologised, then left and made my way back to work. I did get a holiday present though which probably something he bought for himself without thinking and decided to give it to me on a whim. Either way it is the thought that counts I suppose.
That night I received a message saying that

"I didn't mean to upset you"

this may have been true but whether or not he intended to upset me, without a doubt, he definitely did not care that he did. 

That night I pondered about the way it was all unravelling, I had, had a pathetic couple of weeks which he was kept informed of, yet some how he had, yet again, managed to make me feel more worthless than I already felt. I wanted to walk away, it would have been easier if we had both ended whatever it is there and then as this would have been the perfect time to say that there was never going to be any future, but the mind was overruled and that did not become the case.

The next week, I had helped Dave drop some junk off at the tip and we stopped off at mine for some food as my mother had dropped by during the week with an abundance of goods, we threw some stuff together and came up with the sophisticated cuisine of oven chips with chicken in a white wine sauce, it was there for emergencies and as I had not yet been shopping, therefore it had to do. As I did the cooking, Dave sat and relaxed, then he started to walk around and look and my DVDs which some he had seen but not all together. As he looked, he broke wind, I have never understood this phrase for the bodily function but it is what people say, as the noise was made; I turned and looked straight at him, partly in disgust and also in shock. Dave looked like he wanted to laugh at this act of intoxication and said

"If I ever meet your parents, you will have to warn me not to do it in their company"

Now clearly this was a joke, but I had thought we were over the whole relationship lingo and was just respecting each other's existence, the talk of meeting parents is surely for those who know where they stand with another?

I did not know what was going on, to me actions speak louder than words and so far most of what I was witnessing was just words, some things but not much, was portrayed with and in actions. All I could do was go along with what I knew and that was the ride, I just wanted to find out where I stood, my feelings were too strong to walk away but I was not going to let my emotions get the better of me.

In the name of research, I did wonder;  What lies ahead?
In the hope that I was not being 'led up the garden path' blindfolded, I stuck around.

What The Hell Is Going On?

So a few weeks had passed and I had found myself getting lost in the aspect that this could actually be a relationship, we had cooked for each other, gone for drinks, walks, I had been introduced to his friends and we had already had an awkward conversation about what the hell was going on which pretty much just led to limbo again for me. He knew what he wanted out of this and for some reason was not letting me know where I stood.
I have always had decent judgement of people and as much as I wanted Dave to mean what he was saying there was something telling me that he did not.
I was beginning to feel confused, thrown off course from my better judgement. Usually if I have strong feelings for someone and they blatantly do not feel the same way I do a disappearing act at the first sign. This was proving to be difficult;

 What the hell was I thinking?

Then I got to thinking about him putting me up, introducing me to his friends;

 Was I being sussed out?

His friends were so self absorbed with their own adopted importance and class that surely someone as low down on the food chain as myself should not have been given the time of day in the first place.

One Friday, I was working late and Dave was out with friends, which I had not yet met, we originally had left each other to 'our own devices' but that night, towards the end of my shift, I received a text asking me to join them when I had done and if I was not done in time then I was welcome to go over when I had.

So as I was running a bit late, it turned out that I would be venturing over to his house.

When I arrived, the door had been left open as I was to creep up into bed with him. I walked through the front door and there was someone fast asleep on his sofa, so I slowly locked the door and headed towards the stairs. The sleeping being started to stir, so I quickly walked up the stairs missing steps out and crept into bed alnogside a snoring Dave.

It was not long before I was woken up to fondling, Dave was rubbing my body and kissing it like a hungry beast, working his way down lower, he took my 'morning glory' in his mouth and made it clear that I was not going to carry on sleeping, therefore I got involved. It was hot, Dave had his black Calvin Klein briefs on, kneeling with his bottom in the air as he munched on my manhood. I had to return the favour so with him lying on his back I took his member in my mouth, taking it all the way in to the base, which nearly made me choke on it, I thought it best to work the head with a moist hand which he seemed to like and then I took it back in my mouth. I was then turned over on my back, without any negotiation or communication, he climbed over me and pulled my hips towards him...

Then there was a knock on his bedroom door...

"Dave?"

as the door opened slightly, without invitation, Dave had jumped under the covers and completely covered me up. As he only opened the door slightly he must have noticed Dave was doing something, at least to himself if not to someone else.

After Dave's friend had told us he was leaving we resumed. Judging on Dave's performance post interruption, he seemed to be turned on by getting caught, or at least heard and his other friend was still sleeping on the sofa downstairs. He was still hard, he turned me over again and yanked my body towards him and penetrated me, he went for it then, holding my waist but it was not until he stood up and squatted while fucking me that I felt just how hard and horny he was and also how it was making me feel the same way which led us to reach climax together... or within seconds of each other.

He asked if I wanted breakfast, flung on his dressing gown and went to venture downstairs to receive his possible reaction from his other friend. I have no idea to this day whether or not his friend heard but he was outside of the bedroom, approaching the bathroom as Dave opened his bedroom door, albeit with his dressing gown open and asked if he had a good nights sleep. I lay in bed until they were both downstairs and then got dressed and made my way downstairs. They were sat there like a panel of judges with their drinks, Dave introduced us and then ventured into the kitchen to work on the toast.

I do remember the same old probing questions I had received from Dave's other friends about what and where I am going in life as though I had lived it already and had all the answers ready for them, but I did my best, trying to answer them as realistic as I could, for if anything seemed too unrealistic they would have just laughed at my expense.

After breakfast, we had Hollyoaks on in the background, speaking about how it's only good to watch for the eye candy, it was a true observation as none of the cast were particularly great actors. The topic then led to talking about the whole of the male T4 presenters too and of course then it was time for me to leave. Dave did offer me the lift home which I accepted as I was under the impression I had outstayed my welcome and definitely served my purpose so I accepted thinking it was the least he could do on top of breakfast.
As we pulled up to the car park opposite my flat, we were speaking as if we were going to say our 'see you soon' there and then. He said he could tear my clothes off and do me over my breakfast bar right now, so we moved it inside and thats exactly what he did. I just about had the time to lock my door before he started to undo my shirt. Whilst kissing, he forced me backwards through to the living room and through to the kitchen where he made me go down on him, eventually pulling me back up and laying me on my back on my breakfast bar, to turning me over and making me take it from behind over my breakfast bar. It was quite possibly the most action my kitchen had seen.
After climax, we fastened our clothes, arranged when we would next see each other, had a kiss and a hug and then said our see-you-soons.

After our kiss and hug goodbye I felt quite used, as though I was just paraded around in front of another one of his friends and so, as diminshing to my soul as it was, in some sort of childish spite, I logged into the good old profile site which according to this said site apparently he was last on their the day before, which raised far too many questions in my head so I started trawling through and I sat talking to two people and then narrowed it down to one and kept talking to him. Me and the stranger spoke about what we were into and what could do to each other but when the question came up about when we could actually do it, I said I was not free that day and logged out. I could not do it, my own emotions had taken a hold of my better judgement and somehow my heart was in the driving seat. I just wanted someone to tell me what the best thing was to do, if I was wasting my time and what exactly was was going on.