True Colours?

A couple of weeks after my paranoia had thrived on evidence, I stopped looking, why waste my time? I had been put into a position of believing the rubbish this man spun and for what? his own gain.
Ashley was on the scene, After our first conversation I did have my reservations about meeting him as I was so caught up in Dave but I decided to bite the bullet and give Ashley yet another call but this time to actually meet instead of just talking about meeting. In his profile Ashley looked like someone who I would have spent a night with and then tossed aside, However, when the man turned up at my door it was a completely different story, he had short brown hair, deep brown eyes and a tone of skin that looked as though he had just returned from holiday and of course a decent smile, he was broad and also my height, he came in and we spoke, he smelt of cologne which made him look a total Spiv but for that night, I could handle it. His kiss was soft but his touch was firm, he had big arms which had the power to make me tingle as he handled me in positions to suit his own needs. My body was trembling, he made me so hard as he gripped me just hard enough not to hurt. As we both got more into the fondling, Ashley pulled back, stood up and said

"right, OK, I'll see you next time"

"WHAT?!"

I replied.

"yeah, we can leave it at that for now and conclude next time. If you enjoyed this now then you will want to follow it up"

I could tell he did not want to go as he kept leaning in to kiss me which made me think

"why the hell should I contact him again now?"

He had his chance and wasted it. However, the way he touched me made me want to get him back again... so I did.

He was very hands on when he returned, very controlling, but just in the right way, it was nice. His tool managed to curve in the right way too. We moved from the bedroom to the lounge where i was thrown over a bean-bag.

Afterwards We lay talking, we were very out of breath, it felt good. This guy was not trying to manipulate me into doing anything and did not claim any form of feeling, he could not really as we had pretty much only just met. The conversation just flowed, it felt a bit forced at first and I did wonder how long it would go on for but I became more comfortable as we spoke.

Ashley contacted me that night asking about meeting again, I was unsure what to do, I figured that as we got on easily then what harm could it do.

The following Monday, my day off, I received a phone call from my friend Liam, he seemed stressed and a little upset

"Two nurses have just turned up at my door and I need to go to the hospital with them, can you cover me at work?"

I responded:

"Yes, of course..., is everything OK?"

Liam told me discreetly:

"I don't know, I will let you know the details later, I told work that I have to go to the Doctors."

It was all I could think of all day, I could not get my friends health out of my head. So when Liam finally turned up to do my shift, I very selfishly had questions especially as he did not want to talk about it, I made a joke, Liam had a slight reptile look to him and therefore myself and Liam would joke how he was older than the earth itself and somehow managed to survive and evolve through the ages it was a joke he would mock himself with too however today, it did touch a nerve.

Liam said quite stressed

"...well let's just say that after all this time, MY time is finally up!"

It was quite a dramatic come back but considering his news I think it was acceptable. I knew what he was referring to but still had to ask. When Liam told me he was HIV Positive, I did feel myself on the verge of crumbling but we were working and I managed to hold it together, it would be no good for him dealing with it if I could not be there as a pillar of strength.

The next day I invited Liam over and we sat talking about what the doctors had actually told him, I had to ask if he was using protection and he said yes but not for oral sex. After Liam had gone I got to thinking about taking precautions and that me and Dave had had quite a few slips in the heat of the moment and I began to panic. If Liam was unaware whilst, still taking precautions, then what twist of fate had I earned that would stop me from contracting HIV? Again the pictures from Dave's phone went through my head and I just broke down in the privacy of my living room and let it all out.

After the build up had got the better of me, I peeled myself up and went to wash my face. I needed to be firmer with the protection thing despite how much he stressed about it feeling better without a Condom, I needed to put my foot down.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone else" 

Which then made me think of Ashley, I needed to ask him the same question, especially if we were to meet up again.

I left my conversation with Dave with the intention of needing to use contraception, I had been fair in my delivery and not accusing

"Either one of us can say we are not sleeping with anyone else and the other won't know, therefore we need to protect ourselves"

Dave glared at me vacantly...

"Yes I suppose you're right"

We had gone a couple of weeks using protection and it was my belief it was going quite well Dave did not say either way until the following weekend, we were approaching the weekend of my birthday which is when we had agreed to go away, we had not yet decided where but we had arranged the time together. However the week before, I went over and we sat talking which led to fondling and then a trip upstairs, I said I had not brought anything with me to us and he whispered right in my ear...

"let's do it without"

 I said no pushing him away as he pushed himself firmly further on to me, I did start to feel scared but I knew he would not have forced me into it against my will, he was not strong enough to have that power. I became a bit more assertive

"NO!"

pushing him away, and for a second, he did but he did start back up again. Dave knew the hold he would have and he kept poking my ass with his hard cock, without penetration, teasing me so I would give in. He pulled away and kissed me and then went for it trying to insert himself, I gave in for  second but pulled away rapidly

"we can't, I haven't got anything"

I pleaded, it was not just Dave I was pleading with, it was also myself.

"We don't need anything, I've already told you I'm not sleeping with anyone else"

he kissed me and tried again, he lay on me and inserted himself...I did nothing, I did not fight or argue nor did I not pull away...I did enjoy it.

After Dave had once again used me as a sex toy, I sat on the end of the bed feeling dirty and once again not just because of him but myself also. I panicked, I became scared about what we had just done and I figured that I would go to the GUM clinic that following Monday to see what I can do, I had heard of the Drug Pep so I spent the night and the following day (Sunday), terrified.

That Monday I went to the GUM clinic to speak to someone. I explained that I had unprotected sex with someone whose sexual health I knew nothing about, they asked if I gave or received at the time, I received.

They took some test, the typical HIV tests, I was in the room with and amateur, first his phone went off which he nearly answered and because he nearly answered, he had to set up the needle all over again. His colleague entered the room, her phone then went off and they laughed because they were not supposed to have their phones on them... But that was not enough to add to my angst, one nurse said as she went to place the needle in my arm

"We won't have any trouble getting blood out of these arms, just look at those veins!"

 I could feel the room spinning. after she took the sample I had not got any better, I still felt as though I was about to pass out, they were quite attentive despite their ignorant comments to someone as they are about to have a blood sample taken.

I was then moved to another room where I was given a lecture on safe sex and the Pep drug that they were putting me on, apparently it is not pleasant, I thought nothing off it and assumed I would be fine. I was also ordered to bring Dave in on their same day testing day i.e. when the results are given the day of the test, this was so they could determine whether or not to take me off the drug.

That night I was seeing Dave, I was terrified of telling him he would be too proud to go to a place like that, he would not think of himself as nothing less than immortal. I just came out with it, there was no point beating around the bush really, I pleaded for him to go as it would mean I could come off the drug, much to my surprise, he agreed. 

On the day of Dave's testing, I had stayed over the night before so I knew he would turn up. We waited in the waiting room and Dave admitted he was terrified, to which I responded

"if you're not sleeping with people then you shouldn't have anything to worry about"

I was told to be quiet and stop playing games...since when did stating the obvious become a game...?

When Dave went in, he was not gone for very long which puzzled me, he came out and sat for a bit and was then taken into a room and then we were done.

Back in the car, I asked how he was feeling, he said he was OK and glad it was over. I asked what they did as I sat terrified for him, the guy is usually a top but willing to swap from time to time or at least that was the case with me, this led me to believe that he was having the works done and why I was terrified for him. I asked what he had done, and he said

"they just checked my back passage and took a blood test"

I was shocked and angry, all I could think of is what a coward he was. I asked,

"did they not do a swab?"

he answered

"Yes, of my back passage, if you've got anything then you've got it and it will show up wherever they take a sample, let's just put it behind us and enjoy this weekend"

But I thought what about the regular STI's the not so fatal ones, they start in the contracted area and then spread. It was the most pathetic logic I had heard from a man of his age. I bit my lip and kept my thoughts to myself I was so angry.

I left him to go to work and waited for his text to inform me of his results. I had been feeling ill towards the end of the week as a side effect of the medication and hoped he would tell me the truth when he got his results.

Dave did text that afternoon saying everything came back fine and that he was OK. I was slightly relieved ut there was something that stopped me believing him. The next morning, I got myself ready and ventued back to the GUM clinic with my medication in my bag, just in case he was telling the truth. I had to wait a while but I was still taken into the little room where I asked if I could come off the medication as my friend had apparently had the all clear. Once they came back with the results she sat looking at the computer screen with no expression to read on her face... I could not even predict the news. She then chirped up and said 

"Yes your friend is fine, you can come off the Pep now"

I waltzed out of there feeling refreshed, I left the Pep with her. On my way out I grabbed a handful of condoms and made my way home. At least all I need to worry about is where we are going to go for the weekend.